Modern Spa – Jan 16

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Lard girl goes forth…

There comes a time in every girl’s life when she has a terrible moment of being ‘self aware’, like some A.I. computer realising it is just a box of flashing lights & will never go, say, water–skiing or make paper aeroplanes or do any of the physical things in life…. For a girl, this moment of self-awareness is usually the dawning that she may just be a little bit fat, or even worse that…she may just be Lard Girl.

I remember my moment of being self – aware, it is very clear to me, and it happened on Fleetwood High Street.  A strange and rather bog-standard place for an epiphany, but these things tends to spring up on you when you’re not looking. (Because, let’s face it, if you knew it was coming you’d probably run away as fast as your little lardy legs would carry you).

carol-lucking-beforeIt was a sunny, so the husband decided that a trip to Fleetwood Steam Day was in order for the wife and two kids, so off we went.  Now Fleetwood Steam Day consists of the whole town becoming a Victorian village fair with stalls selling sweets and  home made cakes, stalls with ‘hook a duck’ and Tombolas and stalls representing the local churches and  Charities etc. Plus no fete day is complete without an ‘Epiphany’ stall, my own personal ‘Epiphany’ stall.

I was minding my own business, meandering from stall to stall; I passed one not really paying much attention to what it was selling, but seemed to catch the eye of one of the stall holders. Suddenly she came from behind the table and followed me up the street, clutching a flyer in her hand. I had quickened my pace so as to get away but in a flash she was in front of me, taking my hand in both of hers, she looked deeply into my eyes and said ‘You know you’ll always be very welcome…’ and then she was gone, leaving me with the flyer and a sense of ‘what was all that about?’.  Now the Husband and two kids had been witness to all this and came running up to me, ‘Who was she?’, ‘What did she give you?’ I looked down at the flyer and my heart sank, quickly I tried to shove it in my pocket but the husband and kids snatched it away. It read:

COME AND JOIN FLEETWOOD LADIES RUGBY TEAM, ALL AGES WELCOME……

That’s when it happened, that moment when you look at yourself in a shop window and the reflection tells you that you would indeed make a fine prop forward. It was as though time stood still and I was able to see myself in close detail. On this very hot Summer’s day  I was wearing my Husband’s jeans , his shirt and his anorak, and I think I would have worn his ‘y’ fronts as well, anything but  admit that I was a ladies size 20……

carol-lucking-after

Anyway, time has moved on and I’m different now. A size 10 in the making, and I don’t wear my Husband’s clothes anymore. It has been a long journey, as I found my body was perfect for putting on weight not losing it. (The only Lard Girl on the Dessert Island Syndrome).

Since, however, finding The Lemon Syrup Diet, I am now winning and I’m taking no prisoners plus as fit as a fiddle, though I’m not sure Fleetwood Ladies Rugby team would take me now…

I was weighed at my local YMCA and I was shocked to find my weight was 14st 2lbs,now I weigh 9.5 stone. I was a size 20 now I am 10. (Size 12 usually after holidays & Xmas!!!)

Three years ago I started at the YMCA and for about a year I slowly lost weight, getting down to about 12st 9lbs. But then I couldn’t shift anymore. I found it very dis-heartening, I would diet and exercise and lose nothing. Then I gave up for about a year. I put some weight back on although I was still exercising, going back up to 13.5 stone.

Then I tried the Lemon Detox last January, not a full detox, but just replaced my evening meal, I lost 4lbs in the 1st week. I just needed to trigger my body into losing weight again and then I did the detox a further two times and overall, lost 4 stone.  I love detoxing – it sort of makes you feel clean & fresh inside. I changed my lifestyle and dietary habits beyond recognition, which has helped the weight come off and stay off. I don’t eat junk food very often  or crisps or fizzy drinks,(I don’t live like a food saint, & I like wine & sherry) I started working out and between that and the detox I have found a way of keeping fit and controlling my body weight. I am fit, but without my detox I find it hard to lose fat, I can build up muscle but not get rid of fat. The guy at the YMCA told me that some people are just made that way, they can live a very physical life, but their body is made to store fat and thus it ‘sticks’. So if I ever get marooned on an island I will be OK (well, that’s one less thing to worry about….).

I get asked all the time, ‘it must be so emotional….. to have lost all that weight…… to look so fab now ……. when you used to look like ‘Subo’…..’ Well thanks for that!! I wish I could sing like her.

I was miserable when I was fat, proper depressed, it affected my marriage, as I felt so un-attractive, but Philip, my husband, always wanted me fat or thin for cuddles etc….. (However, he doesn’t miss fighting me over wearing his shirts & trousers, ie I use to wear the trousers in our marriage, HIS because mine wouldn’t fit me). Now that I am thin, I don’t feel like a different person, I feel more like myself, that was the problem when I was fat, it just wasn’t me. It’s not just a vanity thing, being able to walk around the shops without being so sweaty that you know you couldn’t try anything on even if you wanted to. Being fit, doing the garden, getting up in the morning without aching hips, not being tired all the time, these things are very important. I also don’t seem to swell up as much as I used to at that special time of the month!

Also it saves money, I now wear the clothes my sons have grown out of, being very partial to their Deathnote T-shirts. (In fact don’t tell them, that now when I buy them t-shirts & jackets etc, I always make sure I like them for me as well. Camden Market sells the best T-shirts by the way). I don’t dwell on having been fat, it was a period in my life when I had other people to look after and major jobs to get on with ie. my sons, building a home, building a business with Philip, whilst I was fat I renovated two houses & a factory, had two children & built a home life with my husband, to be honest there wasn’t time to work out or look after me, I was just too tired at the end of the day.

So I don’t feel that the fat years were wasted, I don’t fear putting on weight, I don’t get depressed anymore. I am content because I have spent the last 15 years achieving what I have now, two quite mad children, a beautiful home, & finally, time to spend at the weekend doing stuff with the family, plus time to spend on myself!!! So sorry, I am a bit of a loon, but not about being thin or fat… more about liking to watch Korean horror films whilst baking cakes or crocheting doilies, or wearing age-inappropriate shoes & skinny jeans.

Helen Thompson – my story

Age – 36
Pre baby weight – 9.5 stone / size 10
Top weight – 14.5 stone / size 16-18
Total weight lost – 5 stone

I had always struggled with my weight and had tried every diet in the book, with little success. I had my first son 5 years ago and I put on 4 stone. It took so much time and hard work for me to get my weight down again.

helen-thompson-before-detox-picI then had my second child two years ago and a year on, was still 5 stone more than i had been pre-pregnancies. I was feeling pretty down on myself and out of control of my body. My energy levels were at an all time low and my skin and hair looked dull and lifeless. I didn’t want to continue following diets that would see my weight continue to fluctuate. I needed something radical that would provide a long-term solution.

By the end of last year, I felt so bad, I decided to kick-start the New Year with a detox. I decided to try the Lemon Detox – a programme that I knew was meant to address all of the issues I was struggling with. I decided to follow a fast for 3 days to kick-start the cleansing process, followed by the relaxed version where you eat a healthy meal each day and substitute the remaining meals with the nutrient rich detox formula.

While the programme was still tough, the results were immediate and significant. As well as seeing the pounds melt away, I began to feel more invigorated than I had in years.

After a total of 3 weeks detoxing, I can honestly say at that point that I had never felt better. I became acutely aware of what I was putting into my body – something I realised was a major plus. With a toddler and a baby, it was easy to snack on the go.

Helen afterAfter my detox, everything changed. My dietary habits have become much healthier and I started military training twice a week. Over the last year I have lost all of the additional weight I had gained from my pregnancies – a total of 5 stone in all. The detox totally transformed my life. My skin and hair are brighter, my energy is boundless and I feel on top of the world.

I have just started a new business called The Nursery Paint Company, which is going strong. I can honestly say I would never have had the energy to put into my new business a few years ago as I do now. I still follow the Lemon Detox if i feel under the weather or if I feel the weight starting to creep back. I just do a 3-day fast or a 5 day programme where I substitute my evening meal and it gets me back on track to healthy living. It’s helped me to re-progamme my whole lifestyle and I will always be grateful for that.”

Harry Redsox – man vs tin

Scourged by the run-in to Christmas, laid low by the festival itself, raddled by New Year and polished off by a series of birthday parties, I decided to pay my penance and do a seven-day diet detox programme.

Here’s what it was like for me to submit to the Lemon Detox Diet.

I am eyeing the one-litre tin of Natural Tree Syrup with trepidation. In turn it seems to be looking at me with disdain as though it reckons it already has the better of my innards.

This is High Noon. One of us catches the train out…the other finishes six feet under.

The tin and me. We’re going to settle it once and for all. We are going to detox to the finish.

DAY BEFORE DAY ONE: Screw cap off the tin. Think hard about exactly what I am letting myself in for the next seven days. Screw the cap back on. Pour a large Scotch and decide to leave it all until tomorrow. A cynical smile spreads over the tin’s face and it spits in the dust.

DAY ONE: Screw cap off the tin with much greater resolve, partly because my wife is standing behind, arms akimbo. Pour two tablespoonfuls of natural tree syrup into a pint glass, add water, a nip of Cayenne pepper and the juice of a half a good plump lemon. Stir. Hold nose. Drink. I have started my seven-day detox fast.

Repeat this procedure twice before lunchtime. Slight headache. Nostalgia for a Guinness with the lads down the Red Lion. Read three chapters of War and Peace and feel a bit sorry for myself. Sorry too for most of them in the book. Have three more pints of natural tree syrup and water during the afternoon. Guinness nostalgia intensifies as does the headache and a desire to gobble up everything in the dog bowl.

Spend the evening watching television and drinking three more pints of the liquid. The headache has gone but I feel cold. I’m also having gentle hallucinations about a strawberry omelette. Go to bed, waking at 3.00. Read for an hour, fall asleep, awake at 7.30.

DAY TWO: Feel slightly tired and, not really dizzy, but not up to tightrope walking. Three glasses in the morning, three in the afternoon, three in the evening.

I am now VERY hungry. But my wife is there urging me on and with the help of two cups of hot peppermint tea I hit the sack without eating anything solid. The headache is back but bearable, and I have a pretty smug feeling about my achievement so far. I can’t get to sleep for two hours but once there I’m in Nod until 7.00.

DAY THREE: This is not a diet for wimps. I want my Mummy. Even more I want bacon, egg, sausage, tomato and three slices of fried bread. But I drink down my first pint of natural tree syrup and almost immediately the acute feeling of hunger goes and I all I want is a bacon butty.

I start to read the booklet on the Lemon Diet. It was invented by the naturopath Stanley Burroughs (no longer with us, but stayed healthy to the end) and developed in

Switzerland. The detox diet is made up of pure maple syrup and five Asian palm saps, which, says the book, give you all the nutrients you need to sustain you through the programme. The cayenne pepper speeds your metabolism, the lemon juice cleans out the toxins.

By teatime I’m feeling as clean as a scrubbed baby myself. I have a bath every morning and showers in the afternoon and evening. It helps the cleansing process, they say.

I am beginning to get that feeling that three days is a pretty good achievement. Maybe it’s enough? Get behind me Satan — this is my wife with the rolling pin. Three glasses of syrup and a cup of laxative herbal tea (urgggh!) later I go to bed and have an excellent night’s sleep.

DAY FOUR: Strange, the hunger has gone. I’m not saying that if you offered the right money I couldn’t down a Filet en Croute in one gulp but the worst of the pangs have disappeared. Also any semblance of headache or chilliness.

My breath is a little pongy, apparently. And that was a friend on the phone. It’s the mucus and the toxins working loose, apparently, bless ’em. I cheat and take a breath pill when kissing, whistling etc. Thank God I’m not a dentist.

I go to see my GP whose opinion I sought before doing the diet as I have a spot of blood pressure. Everything is fine.

By evening I have a slight sense of euphoria. War and Peace is beginning to skip along like a Jack Higgins novel.

I’m feeling really happy about having seen out the fourth day.

DAY FIVE: I drink my three litres of liquid as usual in the morning, walk the dog, finish writing an article, metaphorically slap myself on the back for being so strong-willed…then steal a slice of smoked salmon that someone, a close death-do-us-part relation probably, has left on the kitchen table.

But honest, guv, that’s all I’ve taken. No bread, no pickle, no cake. And I feel SO ASHAMED.

I telephone the Planet Organic in London where I bought the detox diet. Naughty, naughty, says the girl, but she will forgive me just as long as I don’t do it again. “Almost everyone has one little lapse”, she says indulgently.

DAY SIX: I am starting to regret that I have only two days left. I feel energetic and clear- headed. I could finish War and Peace by lunch if I hadn’t so many other things to do. Energy? Today I could win Olympic gold.

DAY SEVEN: You can do the detox diet for anything between one and 10 days. Seven is about right for me so this is the last. I have used just over a litre of Madal Bal Natural Tree Syrup, 28 lemons, a pot of cayenne and six 5-litre bottles of spring water. Total cost £47.50. The week’s food bill – zero.

Tomorrow I “wind down” with vegetable soup and fruit before resuming a normal sensible diet.

I’m six feet tall and I weighed thirteen and a half stones before the detox. I lost 10 pounds.

And, although I still feel guilty about the smoked salmon, I feel terrific. I beat that old tin and I’m on the platform waiting for the train out of town.

 

Wise words from a Reiki master

Barbara Occleshaw – Reiki Master

WHY DETOX?

To rid the body of accumulated impurities, to increase energy and vitality, improve digestion, normalise weight, improve metabolism, hair, skin, nails, teeth; to fortify will power and improve clarity of thought; to change old, ingrained patterns both physical, mental and emotional. There are many benefits to be gained from a cleansing programme. The longer the programme, the more likely the benefits are to be permanent.

Recently, I have done the 10 day version of the Lemon Detox Diet and found all these benefits and more. No solid food for the duration, but still able to continue with a busy lifestyle? Yes – and more energy to spare even to enjoy a five hour dance session on day 9. Not being tempted by the wonderful food on display at lunchtime either.

The Madal Bal Natural Tree Syrup, used in the lemon detox is a blend of maple and palm syrups, hand produced, from the last flow of the trees and containing a perfect balance of nutrients, vitamins and minerals when mixed with fresh lemon juice, cayenne pepper and spring water. This is drunk continuously either hot or cold, throughout the fast, as much as you want. Also included are water, laxative tea, peppermint tea and citrus juices as desired. The blend is ayurvedically correct, being balancing for each dosha type. The body cleanses and heals itself whilst resting from solid food.

For myself the negative effects were minimal, a slightly fuzzy head and tongue for a couple of days. If your diet and lifestyle, however, are less than sattvic you could expect stronger symptoms. Within 3 days all my joint pains had vanished and I felt lighter, brighter and more energised than I have been for ages. I can fully recommend the lemon detox whether you choose the total detox programme or one of the more relaxed versions. I decided I needed drastic and so went for the full challenge.

When to detox? Spring is best but any time during the year when the moon is waning [after the full moon]. Do choose a time when you can be kind to yourself and take off a few days if possible. It’s not really necessary to retreat from normal life unless you want to, but if you make such a big commitment to yourself, you deserve to take all the advantages you can.

Barbara Occleshaw